Dregs Report

Woman with Go-Getter Attitude Crushed by Single Libertarian Party Affiliate Meeting

CANTON, GA — Local marketing professional and self-described “doer” Tessa Marks, 33, entered her first Libertarian Party affiliate meeting Wednesday…

May 22, 2025

Libertarian Party Devastated to Lose Ballot Access for Race They Had No One Running In

World Leaders Revealed to Be Ageless Demonic Entities Sustained by Human Suffering; Your Neoliberal Friend Says “That’s a Good Thing, Actually”

Wife of Professional Marxist Slips in Yet Another Passive-Aggressive Jab at Middle-Class Friends for Having Money

Couple Who Take Edibles and Order Uber Eats Every Night Say They Don’t Want Kids Because Their Life Is “Already Full”

Pastor Accidentally Left at Soup Kitchen After Volunteer Event When Congregation Mistakes Him for Homeless Man

Atheist Consoles Grieving Mother by Reminding Her It’s All Just a Series of Chemical Reactions

Must Read

International Affairs Grad Student Takes on Six-Figure Debt to Learn to Hate Russia

May 22, 2025

Defense Think Tank Analyst Casually Refers to Eastern Europe as “The Chessboard” at Happy Hour

May 22, 2025

Longtime Libertarian Committee Member Launches Into Tirade Over 25-Year Ballot Access Failure, Blames New Guy for “Bad Optics”

May 22, 2025

Man Blames Loneliness on Capitalist Alienation, Still Hasn’t Washed Sheets in Seven Months

May 23, 2025

Thomas Massie Suggests Returning to Spending Levels From Just Five Minutes Ago; Republicans Denounce Him as Lunatic Extremist

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a shocking display of fiscal radicalism, Representative Thomas Massie (R-KY) proposed…

May 28, 2025

Politics

Libertarian Comes in 8th in 3-Way Race; Mathematicians Puzzled but Say the Numbers Check Out

May 27, 2025

Libertarian Chapter Celebrates Another Month of Uncompromised Purity After Rejecting All Newcomers

May 22, 2025

Religion

“Religion Is Cringe,” Says Man With Rick and Morty Tattoo

May 22, 2025

Man Who Hates Church Totally Fine with Witch Stuff for Some Reason

May 22, 2025

Christian Open Mic Night Erupts After One Comic Repeats “Atheists Be Debatin’” for Five Straight Minutes

May 22, 2025

Latest News

Libertarian Affiliate Applauds Year of Denunciations, Procedural Drama, and No Observable Impact

3 Min Read

New Strategy Proposed: Libertarians Urged to Maybe Not Put Biggest Weirdos Front and Center; Roundly Rejected, Immediately Booed

2 Min Read

Neoliberal Friend Says U.S. Foreign Policy ‘Generally Goes Pretty Well’ Despite Trail of Smoldering Craters

1 Min Read

Anarcho-Libertarian Has Every Answer for Society’s Problems, Still Can’t Get Anyone to Swipe Right

3 Min Read

Mega Church Unveils Drive-Thru Baptism for Busy Believers on the Go

3 Min Read

Libertarian Party Officials Celebrate “Perfect” County Platform, Shocked to Discover Everyone Still Finds Them Unlikable

3 Min Read

Libertarian Shocked by 27th Straight Election Loss After Spending Entire Campaign Giving Speeches to Other Libertarians

3 Min Read

Local Tankie Sues for Defamation Using Legal System They Publicly Denounce as Bourgeois Tool of Oppression

2 Min Read