Dregs Report

Woman with Go-Getter Attitude Crushed by Single Libertarian Party Affiliate Meeting

CANTON, GA — Local marketing professional and self-described “doer” Tessa Marks, 33, entered her first Libertarian Party affiliate meeting Wednesday…

May 22, 2025

Defense Think Tank Analyst Casually Refers to Eastern Europe as “The Chessboard” at Happy Hour

Libertarian Party Devastated to Lose Ballot Access for Race They Had No One Running In

Couple Who Take Edibles and Order Uber Eats Every Night Say They Don’t Want Kids Because Their Life Is “Already Full”

Libertarian Group Chat Leaked, Members Revealed to Be Even Bigger Nerds Than Anyone Thought Possible

Pastor Accidentally Left at Soup Kitchen After Volunteer Event When Congregation Mistakes Him for Homeless Man

“Religion Is Cringe,” Says Man With Rick and Morty Tattoo

Must Read

Libertarian Party Officials Celebrate “Perfect” County Platform, Shocked to Discover Everyone Still Finds Them Unlikable

May 22, 2025

Woman Who Married Young and Just Got Into Progressive Politics Reminds You for the 17th Time This Week That She’s Actually Queer

May 22, 2025

New Strategy Proposed: Libertarians Urged to Maybe Not Put Biggest Weirdos Front and Center; Roundly Rejected, Immediately Booed

May 23, 2025

International Affairs Grad Student Takes on Six-Figure Debt to Learn to Hate Russia

May 22, 2025

Open-Borders Libertarians Create Ellis Island-Style Processing Station to Vet New Party Volunteers

ROCHESTER, NY — Declaring themselves champions of radical inclusion and freedom of movement, a group…

May 28, 2025

Politics

Neoliberal Friend Says U.S. Foreign Policy ‘Generally Goes Pretty Well’ Despite Trail of Smoldering Craters

May 23, 2025

Thomas Massie Suggests Returning to Spending Levels From Just Five Minutes Ago; Republicans Denounce Him as Lunatic Extremist

May 28, 2025

Religion

Christian Open Mic Night Erupts After One Comic Repeats “Atheists Be Debatin’” for Five Straight Minutes

May 22, 2025

Calvinist Takes Credit for Choosing to Attend Church, Briefly Forgets Everything He Believes

May 22, 2025

Anglican Priest Accidentally Preaches Entire Sermon from The Silmarillion; Congregation Too Polite to Interrupt

May 25, 2025

Latest News

Libertarian Chapter Celebrates Another Month of Uncompromised Purity After Rejecting All Newcomers

2 Min Read

World Leaders Revealed to Be Ageless Demonic Entities Sustained by Human Suffering; Your Neoliberal Friend Says “That’s a Good Thing, Actually”

2 Min Read

Longtime Libertarian Committee Member Launches Into Tirade Over 25-Year Ballot Access Failure, Blames New Guy for “Bad Optics”

2 Min Read

Podcaster Claims He Was Shadowbanned, Actually Just Super Boring

2 Min Read

Mega Church Unveils Drive-Thru Baptism for Busy Believers on the Go

3 Min Read

Post-Libertarian Claims He’s Evolved Beyond Left vs. Right, Now Just Angry at Everyone Equally

2 Min Read

BREAKING: Paleontologists Confirm T. Rex Was Actually Kind of a Giant Pussy

2 Min Read

Broke Marxist Threatens to Stop Paying Rent “Until Palestine Is Free”

2 Min Read