Dregs Report

Woman with Go-Getter Attitude Crushed by Single Libertarian Party Affiliate Meeting

CANTON, GA — Local marketing professional and self-described “doer” Tessa Marks, 33, entered her first Libertarian Party affiliate meeting Wednesday…

May 22, 2025

Defense Think Tank Analyst Casually Refers to Eastern Europe as “The Chessboard” at Happy Hour

International Affairs Grad Student Takes on Six-Figure Debt to Learn to Hate Russia

Wife of Professional Marxist Slips in Yet Another Passive-Aggressive Jab at Middle-Class Friends for Having Money

Couple Who Take Edibles and Order Uber Eats Every Night Say They Don’t Want Kids Because Their Life Is “Already Full”

Man Derives Meaning from Life by Explaining That Life Has No Meaning

Pastor Accidentally Left at Soup Kitchen After Volunteer Event When Congregation Mistakes Him for Homeless Man

Must Read

Longtime Libertarian Committee Member Launches Into Tirade Over 25-Year Ballot Access Failure, Blames New Guy for “Bad Optics”

May 22, 2025

Man Blames Loneliness on Capitalist Alienation, Still Hasn’t Washed Sheets in Seven Months

May 23, 2025

Woman Who Married Young and Just Got Into Progressive Politics Reminds You for the 17th Time This Week That She’s Actually Queer

May 22, 2025

Post-Libertarian Claims He’s Evolved Beyond Left vs. Right, Now Just Angry at Everyone Equally

May 22, 2025

Thomas Massie Suggests Returning to Spending Levels From Just Five Minutes Ago; Republicans Denounce Him as Lunatic Extremist

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a shocking display of fiscal radicalism, Representative Thomas Massie (R-KY) proposed…

May 28, 2025

Politics

Libertarian Party Officials Celebrate “Perfect” County Platform, Shocked to Discover Everyone Still Finds Them Unlikable

May 22, 2025

Libertarian Affiliate Applauds Year of Denunciations, Procedural Drama, and No Observable Impact

May 24, 2025

Religion

Mega Church Unveils Drive-Thru Baptism for Busy Believers on the Go

May 22, 2025

Atheist Consoles Grieving Mother by Reminding Her It’s All Just a Series of Chemical Reactions

May 22, 2025

Calvinist Takes Credit for Choosing to Attend Church, Briefly Forgets Everything He Believes

May 22, 2025

Latest News

Neoliberal Friend Says U.S. Foreign Policy ‘Generally Goes Pretty Well’ Despite Trail of Smoldering Craters

1 Min Read

College Student Takes Someone’s Seat, Performs Land Acknowledgment to Justify It

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BREAKING: Paleontologists Confirm T. Rex Was Actually Kind of a Giant Pussy

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Man Who Hates Church Totally Fine with Witch Stuff for Some Reason

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Woman Threatens to Ruin Her Own Life Until Living Wage Guaranteed to All Workers

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Astronomers Spot Three Gray Pixels a Million Light-Years Away, Confidently Declare It’s Dust From a Failed Star With Complex Feelings About Gender

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Broke Marxist Threatens to Stop Paying Rent “Until Palestine Is Free”

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Local Tankie Sues for Defamation Using Legal System They Publicly Denounce as Bourgeois Tool of Oppression

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