Dregs Report

Woman with Go-Getter Attitude Crushed by Single Libertarian Party Affiliate Meeting

CANTON, GA — Local marketing professional and self-described “doer” Tessa Marks, 33, entered her first Libertarian Party affiliate meeting Wednesday…

May 22, 2025

International Affairs Grad Student Takes on Six-Figure Debt to Learn to Hate Russia

World Leaders Revealed to Be Ageless Demonic Entities Sustained by Human Suffering; Your Neoliberal Friend Says “That’s a Good Thing, Actually”

Libertarian Group Chat Leaked, Members Revealed to Be Even Bigger Nerds Than Anyone Thought Possible

Couple Who Take Edibles and Order Uber Eats Every Night Say They Don’t Want Kids Because Their Life Is “Already Full”

Atheist Consoles Grieving Mother by Reminding Her It’s All Just a Series of Chemical Reactions

Man Derives Meaning from Life by Explaining That Life Has No Meaning

Must Read

HISTORIC: Woman Becomes First Person to Ever Watch Entirety of Vertical Concert Footage She Shot

May 22, 2025

BREAKING: Paleontologists Confirm T. Rex Was Actually Kind of a Giant Pussy

May 28, 2025

Woman Threatens to Ruin Her Own Life Until Living Wage Guaranteed to All Workers

May 22, 2025

Longtime Libertarian Committee Member Launches Into Tirade Over 25-Year Ballot Access Failure, Blames New Guy for “Bad Optics”

May 22, 2025

Local Tankie Sues for Defamation Using Legal System They Publicly Denounce as Bourgeois Tool of Oppression

PHILADELPHIA, PA — Local Marxist-Leninist activist Cass Freeman, 26, has filed a defamation lawsuit this…

May 22, 2025

Politics

New Strategy Proposed: Libertarians Urged to Maybe Not Put Biggest Weirdos Front and Center; Roundly Rejected, Immediately Booed

May 23, 2025

Woke Dweeb Wins “Post-Libertarian Recruiter of the Year” for Turning Off Dozens of Normal People Every Month

May 22, 2025

Religion

Calvinist Takes Credit for Choosing to Attend Church, Briefly Forgets Everything He Believes

May 22, 2025

Christian Open Mic Night Erupts After One Comic Repeats “Atheists Be Debatin’” for Five Straight Minutes

May 22, 2025

Pastor Accidentally Left at Soup Kitchen After Volunteer Event When Congregation Mistakes Him for Homeless Man

May 22, 2025

Latest News

Local Libertarian Announces Bold Plan to “Outreach to the Urban Community” While Pulling Pants Up to Just Below Nipples

3 Min Read

Libertarian Chapter Celebrates Another Month of Uncompromised Purity After Rejecting All Newcomers

2 Min Read

Thomas Massie Suggests Returning to Spending Levels From Just Five Minutes Ago; Republicans Denounce Him as Lunatic Extremist

2 Min Read

Post-Libertarian Claims He’s Evolved Beyond Left vs. Right, Now Just Angry at Everyone Equally

2 Min Read

Libertarian Shocked by 27th Straight Election Loss After Spending Entire Campaign Giving Speeches to Other Libertarians

3 Min Read

Neoliberal Friend Says U.S. Foreign Policy ‘Generally Goes Pretty Well’ Despite Trail of Smoldering Craters

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Woman Who Married Young and Just Got Into Progressive Politics Reminds You for the 17th Time This Week That She’s Actually Queer

2 Min Read

Anglican Priest Accidentally Preaches Entire Sermon from The Silmarillion; Congregation Too Polite to Interrupt

3 Min Read