Dregs Report

Woman with Go-Getter Attitude Crushed by Single Libertarian Party Affiliate Meeting

CANTON, GA — Local marketing professional and self-described “doer” Tessa Marks, 33, entered her first Libertarian Party affiliate meeting Wednesday…

May 22, 2025

Defense Think Tank Analyst Casually Refers to Eastern Europe as “The Chessboard” at Happy Hour

Libertarian Party Devastated to Lose Ballot Access for Race They Had No One Running In

Wife of Professional Marxist Slips in Yet Another Passive-Aggressive Jab at Middle-Class Friends for Having Money

Libertarian Group Chat Leaked, Members Revealed to Be Even Bigger Nerds Than Anyone Thought Possible

Man Derives Meaning from Life by Explaining That Life Has No Meaning

Atheist Consoles Grieving Mother by Reminding Her It’s All Just a Series of Chemical Reactions

Must Read

Post-Libertarian Claims He’s Evolved Beyond Left vs. Right, Now Just Angry at Everyone Equally

May 22, 2025

Woke Dweeb Wins “Post-Libertarian Recruiter of the Year” for Turning Off Dozens of Normal People Every Month

May 22, 2025

College Student Takes Someone’s Seat, Performs Land Acknowledgment to Justify It

May 22, 2025

Knitting Club Passes Bold Resolution Condemning Bad Things, Supporting Good Things; Leadership Says It’s a Turning Point

May 23, 2025

Anarcho-Libertarian Has Every Answer for Society’s Problems, Still Can’t Get Anyone to Swipe Right

WEST, TX — Local anarcho-capitalist Brandon Kessler, 24, has spent the better part of his…

May 22, 2025

Politics

Libertarian Shocked by 27th Straight Election Loss After Spending Entire Campaign Giving Speeches to Other Libertarians

May 22, 2025

Thomas Massie Suggests Returning to Spending Levels From Just Five Minutes Ago; Republicans Denounce Him as Lunatic Extremist

May 28, 2025

Religion

“Religion Is Cringe,” Says Man With Rick and Morty Tattoo

May 22, 2025

Man Who Hates Church Totally Fine with Witch Stuff for Some Reason

May 22, 2025

Mega Church Unveils Drive-Thru Baptism for Busy Believers on the Go

May 22, 2025

Latest News

Man Blames Loneliness on Capitalist Alienation, Still Hasn’t Washed Sheets in Seven Months

2 Min Read

Woman Who Married Young and Just Got Into Progressive Politics Reminds You for the 17th Time This Week That She’s Actually Queer

2 Min Read

Anglican Priest Accidentally Preaches Entire Sermon from The Silmarillion; Congregation Too Polite to Interrupt

3 Min Read

International Affairs Grad Student Takes on Six-Figure Debt to Learn to Hate Russia

2 Min Read

Woman Threatens to Ruin Her Own Life Until Living Wage Guaranteed to All Workers

2 Min Read

World Leaders Revealed to Be Ageless Demonic Entities Sustained by Human Suffering; Your Neoliberal Friend Says “That’s a Good Thing, Actually”

2 Min Read

Astronomers Spot Three Gray Pixels a Million Light-Years Away, Confidently Declare It’s Dust From a Failed Star With Complex Feelings About Gender

2 Min Read

Libertarian Comes in 8th in 3-Way Race; Mathematicians Puzzled but Say the Numbers Check Out

2 Min Read