Dregs Report

Woman with Go-Getter Attitude Crushed by Single Libertarian Party Affiliate Meeting

CANTON, GA — Local marketing professional and self-described “doer” Tessa Marks, 33, entered her first Libertarian Party affiliate meeting Wednesday…

May 22, 2025

World Leaders Revealed to Be Ageless Demonic Entities Sustained by Human Suffering; Your Neoliberal Friend Says “That’s a Good Thing, Actually”

Defense Think Tank Analyst Casually Refers to Eastern Europe as “The Chessboard” at Happy Hour

Wife of Professional Marxist Slips in Yet Another Passive-Aggressive Jab at Middle-Class Friends for Having Money

Couple Who Take Edibles and Order Uber Eats Every Night Say They Don’t Want Kids Because Their Life Is “Already Full”

Atheist Consoles Grieving Mother by Reminding Her It’s All Just a Series of Chemical Reactions

Pastor Accidentally Left at Soup Kitchen After Volunteer Event When Congregation Mistakes Him for Homeless Man

Must Read

Woman with Go-Getter Attitude Crushed by Single Libertarian Party Affiliate Meeting

May 22, 2025

Anglican Priest Accidentally Preaches Entire Sermon from The Silmarillion; Congregation Too Polite to Interrupt

May 25, 2025

Thomas Massie Suggests Returning to Spending Levels From Just Five Minutes Ago; Republicans Denounce Him as Lunatic Extremist

May 28, 2025

Broke Marxist Threatens to Stop Paying Rent “Until Palestine Is Free”

May 22, 2025

Local Tankie Sues for Defamation Using Legal System They Publicly Denounce as Bourgeois Tool of Oppression

PHILADELPHIA, PA — Local Marxist-Leninist activist Cass Freeman, 26, has filed a defamation lawsuit this…

May 22, 2025

Politics

Local Libertarian Announces Bold Plan to “Outreach to the Urban Community” While Pulling Pants Up to Just Below Nipples

May 22, 2025

Post-Libertarian Claims He’s Evolved Beyond Left vs. Right, Now Just Angry at Everyone Equally

May 22, 2025

Religion

“Religion Is Cringe,” Says Man With Rick and Morty Tattoo

May 22, 2025

Calvinist Takes Credit for Choosing to Attend Church, Briefly Forgets Everything He Believes

May 22, 2025

Man Who Hates Church Totally Fine with Witch Stuff for Some Reason

May 22, 2025

Latest News

Libertarian Comes in 8th in 3-Way Race; Mathematicians Puzzled but Say the Numbers Check Out

2 Min Read

College Student Takes Someone’s Seat, Performs Land Acknowledgment to Justify It

2 Min Read

BREAKING: Paleontologists Confirm T. Rex Was Actually Kind of a Giant Pussy

2 Min Read

Mega Church Unveils Drive-Thru Baptism for Busy Believers on the Go

3 Min Read

Longtime Libertarian Committee Member Launches Into Tirade Over 25-Year Ballot Access Failure, Blames New Guy for “Bad Optics”

2 Min Read

Man Derives Meaning from Life by Explaining That Life Has No Meaning

3 Min Read

Libertarian Party Devastated to Lose Ballot Access for Race They Had No One Running In

2 Min Read

Libertarian Party Officials Celebrate “Perfect” County Platform, Shocked to Discover Everyone Still Finds Them Unlikable

3 Min Read