Dregs Report

Woman with Go-Getter Attitude Crushed by Single Libertarian Party Affiliate Meeting

CANTON, GA — Local marketing professional and self-described “doer” Tessa Marks, 33, entered her first Libertarian Party affiliate meeting Wednesday…

May 22, 2025

Libertarian Party Devastated to Lose Ballot Access for Race They Had No One Running In

Defense Think Tank Analyst Casually Refers to Eastern Europe as “The Chessboard” at Happy Hour

Libertarian Group Chat Leaked, Members Revealed to Be Even Bigger Nerds Than Anyone Thought Possible

Wife of Professional Marxist Slips in Yet Another Passive-Aggressive Jab at Middle-Class Friends for Having Money

Man Derives Meaning from Life by Explaining That Life Has No Meaning

Atheist Consoles Grieving Mother by Reminding Her It’s All Just a Series of Chemical Reactions

Must Read

Libertarian Affiliate Applauds Year of Denunciations, Procedural Drama, and No Observable Impact

May 24, 2025

Libertarian Chapter Celebrates Another Month of Uncompromised Purity After Rejecting All Newcomers

May 22, 2025

Libertarian Group Chat Leaked, Members Revealed to Be Even Bigger Nerds Than Anyone Thought Possible

May 22, 2025

New Strategy Proposed: Libertarians Urged to Maybe Not Put Biggest Weirdos Front and Center; Roundly Rejected, Immediately Booed

May 23, 2025

International Affairs Grad Student Takes on Six-Figure Debt to Learn to Hate Russia

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Local graduate student Marissa Lane, 26, has racked up over $137,000 in…

May 22, 2025

Politics

Libertarian Shocked by 27th Straight Election Loss After Spending Entire Campaign Giving Speeches to Other Libertarians

May 22, 2025

Neoliberal Friend Says U.S. Foreign Policy ‘Generally Goes Pretty Well’ Despite Trail of Smoldering Craters

May 23, 2025

Religion

Mega Church Unveils Drive-Thru Baptism for Busy Believers on the Go

May 22, 2025

Anglican Priest Accidentally Preaches Entire Sermon from The Silmarillion; Congregation Too Polite to Interrupt

May 25, 2025

Pastor Accidentally Left at Soup Kitchen After Volunteer Event When Congregation Mistakes Him for Homeless Man

May 22, 2025

Latest News

College Marxist Assumes Yet Another Ethnic Identity

2 Min Read

Woke Dweeb Wins “Post-Libertarian Recruiter of the Year” for Turning Off Dozens of Normal People Every Month

2 Min Read

Christian Open Mic Night Erupts After One Comic Repeats “Atheists Be Debatin’” for Five Straight Minutes

2 Min Read

World Leaders Revealed to Be Ageless Demonic Entities Sustained by Human Suffering; Your Neoliberal Friend Says “That’s a Good Thing, Actually”

2 Min Read

Man Who Hates Church Totally Fine with Witch Stuff for Some Reason

2 Min Read

Post-Libertarian Claims He’s Evolved Beyond Left vs. Right, Now Just Angry at Everyone Equally

2 Min Read

Knitting Club Passes Bold Resolution Condemning Bad Things, Supporting Good Things; Leadership Says It’s a Turning Point

2 Min Read

Local Libertarian Announces Bold Plan to “Outreach to the Urban Community” While Pulling Pants Up to Just Below Nipples

3 Min Read