Dregs Report

Woman with Go-Getter Attitude Crushed by Single Libertarian Party Affiliate Meeting

CANTON, GA — Local marketing professional and self-described “doer” Tessa Marks, 33, entered her first Libertarian Party affiliate meeting Wednesday…

May 22, 2025

Defense Think Tank Analyst Casually Refers to Eastern Europe as “The Chessboard” at Happy Hour

World Leaders Revealed to Be Ageless Demonic Entities Sustained by Human Suffering; Your Neoliberal Friend Says “That’s a Good Thing, Actually”

Couple Who Take Edibles and Order Uber Eats Every Night Say They Don’t Want Kids Because Their Life Is “Already Full”

Libertarian Group Chat Leaked, Members Revealed to Be Even Bigger Nerds Than Anyone Thought Possible

Christian Open Mic Night Erupts After One Comic Repeats “Atheists Be Debatin’” for Five Straight Minutes

Atheist Consoles Grieving Mother by Reminding Her It’s All Just a Series of Chemical Reactions

Must Read

Woman Who Married Young and Just Got Into Progressive Politics Reminds You for the 17th Time This Week That She’s Actually Queer

May 22, 2025

Local Tankie Sues for Defamation Using Legal System They Publicly Denounce as Bourgeois Tool of Oppression

May 22, 2025

Mega Church Unveils Drive-Thru Baptism for Busy Believers on the Go

May 22, 2025

HISTORIC: Woman Becomes First Person to Ever Watch Entirety of Vertical Concert Footage She Shot

May 22, 2025

Post-Libertarian Claims He’s Evolved Beyond Left vs. Right, Now Just Angry at Everyone Equally

PHOENIX, AZ — Local podcast host and self-described “political free agent” Jordan Aimes, 43, announced…

May 22, 2025

Politics

Longtime Libertarian Committee Member Launches Into Tirade Over 25-Year Ballot Access Failure, Blames New Guy for “Bad Optics”

May 22, 2025

Neoliberal Friend Says U.S. Foreign Policy ‘Generally Goes Pretty Well’ Despite Trail of Smoldering Craters

May 23, 2025

Religion

Calvinist Takes Credit for Choosing to Attend Church, Briefly Forgets Everything He Believes

May 22, 2025

Pastor Accidentally Left at Soup Kitchen After Volunteer Event When Congregation Mistakes Him for Homeless Man

May 22, 2025

Anglican Priest Accidentally Preaches Entire Sermon from The Silmarillion; Congregation Too Polite to Interrupt

May 25, 2025

Latest News

Knitting Club Passes Bold Resolution Condemning Bad Things, Supporting Good Things; Leadership Says It’s a Turning Point

2 Min Read

BREAKING: Paleontologists Confirm T. Rex Was Actually Kind of a Giant Pussy

2 Min Read

Local Libertarian Announces Bold Plan to “Outreach to the Urban Community” While Pulling Pants Up to Just Below Nipples

3 Min Read

Thomas Massie Suggests Returning to Spending Levels From Just Five Minutes Ago; Republicans Denounce Him as Lunatic Extremist

2 Min Read

Woman Threatens to Ruin Her Own Life Until Living Wage Guaranteed to All Workers

2 Min Read

Libertarian Shocked by 27th Straight Election Loss After Spending Entire Campaign Giving Speeches to Other Libertarians

3 Min Read

Wife of Professional Marxist Slips in Yet Another Passive-Aggressive Jab at Middle-Class Friends for Having Money

2 Min Read

Man Derives Meaning from Life by Explaining That Life Has No Meaning

3 Min Read