Dregs Report

Woman with Go-Getter Attitude Crushed by Single Libertarian Party Affiliate Meeting

CANTON, GA — Local marketing professional and self-described “doer” Tessa Marks, 33, entered her first Libertarian Party affiliate meeting Wednesday…

May 22, 2025

Libertarian Party Devastated to Lose Ballot Access for Race They Had No One Running In

Defense Think Tank Analyst Casually Refers to Eastern Europe as “The Chessboard” at Happy Hour

Couple Who Take Edibles and Order Uber Eats Every Night Say They Don’t Want Kids Because Their Life Is “Already Full”

Libertarian Group Chat Leaked, Members Revealed to Be Even Bigger Nerds Than Anyone Thought Possible

Christian Open Mic Night Erupts After One Comic Repeats “Atheists Be Debatin’” for Five Straight Minutes

Pastor Accidentally Left at Soup Kitchen After Volunteer Event When Congregation Mistakes Him for Homeless Man

Must Read

Libertarian Shocked by 27th Straight Election Loss After Spending Entire Campaign Giving Speeches to Other Libertarians

May 22, 2025

Post-Libertarian Claims He’s Evolved Beyond Left vs. Right, Now Just Angry at Everyone Equally

May 22, 2025

Anarcho-Libertarian Has Every Answer for Society’s Problems, Still Can’t Get Anyone to Swipe Right

May 22, 2025

Pragmatic Libertarian Shocked to Learn He’s Just as Annoying in Government as Out of It

May 22, 2025

Libertarian Party Devastated to Lose Ballot Access for Race They Had No One Running In

ATLANTA, GA — Members of the state Libertarian Party affiliate expressed profound disappointment this week…

May 22, 2025

Politics

Local Libertarian Announces Bold Plan to “Outreach to the Urban Community” While Pulling Pants Up to Just Below Nipples

May 22, 2025

Libertarian Affiliate Applauds Year of Denunciations, Procedural Drama, and No Observable Impact

May 24, 2025

Religion

“Religion Is Cringe,” Says Man With Rick and Morty Tattoo

May 22, 2025

Atheist Consoles Grieving Mother by Reminding Her It’s All Just a Series of Chemical Reactions

May 22, 2025

Anglican Priest Accidentally Preaches Entire Sermon from The Silmarillion; Congregation Too Polite to Interrupt

May 25, 2025

Latest News

Woman Threatens to Ruin Her Own Life Until Living Wage Guaranteed to All Workers

2 Min Read

New Strategy Proposed: Libertarians Urged to Maybe Not Put Biggest Weirdos Front and Center; Roundly Rejected, Immediately Booed

2 Min Read

Woman Who Married Young and Just Got Into Progressive Politics Reminds You for the 17th Time This Week That She’s Actually Queer

2 Min Read

World Leaders Revealed to Be Ageless Demonic Entities Sustained by Human Suffering; Your Neoliberal Friend Says “That’s a Good Thing, Actually”

2 Min Read

Longtime Libertarian Committee Member Launches Into Tirade Over 25-Year Ballot Access Failure, Blames New Guy for “Bad Optics”

2 Min Read

Man Blames Loneliness on Capitalist Alienation, Still Hasn’t Washed Sheets in Seven Months

2 Min Read

Knitting Club Passes Bold Resolution Condemning Bad Things, Supporting Good Things; Leadership Says It’s a Turning Point

2 Min Read

Man Derives Meaning from Life by Explaining That Life Has No Meaning

3 Min Read