Libertarian Chapter Celebrates Another Month of Uncompromised Purity After Rejecting All Newcomers
MINNEAPOLIS, MN — The local Libertarian Party affiliate is celebrating yet another…
Local Tankie Sues for Defamation Using Legal System They Publicly Denounce as Bourgeois Tool of Oppression
PHILADELPHIA, PA — Local Marxist-Leninist activist Cass Freeman, 26, has filed a…
Woman with Go-Getter Attitude Crushed by Single Libertarian Party Affiliate Meeting
CANTON, GA — Local marketing professional and self-described “doer” Tessa Marks, 33,…
Local Libertarian Announces Bold Plan to “Outreach to the Urban Community” While Pulling Pants Up to Just Below Nipples
SPRINGFIELD, MO — Longtime Libertarian Party committee member and self-appointed outreach strategist…
Libertarian Group Chat Leaked, Members Revealed to Be Even Bigger Nerds Than Anyone Thought Possible
AUBURN, AL— A leaked libertarian group chat that many assumed would contain…
We Watched Every Ayn Rand Film Adaptation and Ranked Them Starting at 0 and Descending Into the Negative Numbers Where They Belong
By the time we reached the third Atlas Shrugged movie, we were…
Libertarian Party Devastated to Lose Ballot Access for Race They Had No One Running In
ATLANTA, GA — Members of the state Libertarian Party affiliate expressed profound…
Woman Who Married Young and Just Got Into Progressive Politics Reminds You for the 17th Time This Week That She’s Actually Queer
DURHAM, NC — Local woman Natalie Byrnes, 32, who has been married…
Wife of Professional Marxist Slips in Yet Another Passive-Aggressive Jab at Middle-Class Friends for Having Money
BROOKLYN, NY — During what began as a casual dinner party among…
Libertarian Party Officials Celebrate “Perfect” County Platform, Shocked to Discover Everyone Still Finds Them Unlikable
CANTON, OH — After months of heated debate, subcommittee reports, and late-night…