Dregs Report

Woman with Go-Getter Attitude Crushed by Single Libertarian Party Affiliate Meeting

CANTON, GA — Local marketing professional and self-described “doer” Tessa Marks, 33, entered her first Libertarian Party affiliate meeting Wednesday…

May 22, 2025

College Marxist Assumes Yet Another Ethnic Identity

Libertarian Party Devastated to Lose Ballot Access for Race They Had No One Running In

Wife of Professional Marxist Slips in Yet Another Passive-Aggressive Jab at Middle-Class Friends for Having Money

Libertarian Group Chat Leaked, Members Revealed to Be Even Bigger Nerds Than Anyone Thought Possible

Man Who Hates Church Totally Fine with Witch Stuff for Some Reason

Atheist Consoles Grieving Mother by Reminding Her It’s All Just a Series of Chemical Reactions

Must Read

Man Derives Meaning from Life by Explaining That Life Has No Meaning

May 22, 2025

Libertarian Party Officials Celebrate “Perfect” County Platform, Shocked to Discover Everyone Still Finds Them Unlikable

May 22, 2025

BREAKING: Paleontologists Confirm T. Rex Was Actually Kind of a Giant Pussy

May 28, 2025

College Student Takes Someone’s Seat, Performs Land Acknowledgment to Justify It

May 22, 2025

Libertarian Comes in 8th in 3-Way Race; Mathematicians Puzzled but Say the Numbers Check Out

LUBBOCK, TX — In what experts are calling “arithmetically improbable but technically correct,” Libertarian city…

May 27, 2025

Politics

Local Libertarian Announces Bold Plan to “Outreach to the Urban Community” While Pulling Pants Up to Just Below Nipples

May 22, 2025

Local Tankie Sues for Defamation Using Legal System They Publicly Denounce as Bourgeois Tool of Oppression

May 22, 2025

Religion

Pastor Accidentally Left at Soup Kitchen After Volunteer Event When Congregation Mistakes Him for Homeless Man

May 22, 2025

Calvinist Takes Credit for Choosing to Attend Church, Briefly Forgets Everything He Believes

May 22, 2025

Anglican Priest Accidentally Preaches Entire Sermon from The Silmarillion; Congregation Too Polite to Interrupt

May 25, 2025

Latest News

World Leaders Revealed to Be Ageless Demonic Entities Sustained by Human Suffering; Your Neoliberal Friend Says “That’s a Good Thing, Actually”

2 Min Read

Knitting Club Passes Bold Resolution Condemning Bad Things, Supporting Good Things; Leadership Says It’s a Turning Point

2 Min Read

Couple Who Take Edibles and Order Uber Eats Every Night Say They Don’t Want Kids Because Their Life Is “Already Full”

2 Min Read

Astronomers Spot Three Gray Pixels a Million Light-Years Away, Confidently Declare It’s Dust From a Failed Star With Complex Feelings About Gender

2 Min Read

Open-Borders Libertarians Create Ellis Island-Style Processing Station to Vet New Party Volunteers

2 Min Read

Woman Who Married Young and Just Got Into Progressive Politics Reminds You for the 17th Time This Week That She’s Actually Queer

2 Min Read

Man Blames Loneliness on Capitalist Alienation, Still Hasn’t Washed Sheets in Seven Months

2 Min Read

Libertarian Chapter Celebrates Another Month of Uncompromised Purity After Rejecting All Newcomers

2 Min Read