AUBURN, AL— A leaked libertarian group chat that many assumed would contain the usual toxic stew of private male conversations — petty drama, crude jokes, maybe a little light racism — instead shocked readers by revealing a depth of nerdiness so profound it may actually be a medical condition.
“I expected to see at least one slur, a QAnon meme, or maybe a joke that would gets someone kicked off Twitter” said political journalist Claire D’Angelo, who broke the story. “Instead, it’s just 900 messages about Mises, a three-day argument over whether Human Action starts too slow, and a spreadsheet ranking their favorite chapters by marginal utility.”
The chat, named “Radical Liberty Bunker (Don’t Share)”, was reportedly created in 2021 and contains zero images, exactly one meme (a poorly cropped Ron Paul reaction gif), and multiple multi-paragraph arguments about 19th-century banking regulations.
“I guess I just assumed a group chat full of libertarian men would be… you know… grosser,” said one anonymous source. “Instead, it’s just dudes saying stuff like ‘Voluntaryism doesn’t require personal warmth’ and ‘I think Rothbard would’ve liked the Polygon blockchain.’”
One especially damning portion includes a long, serious thread where several members critique each other’s reading pace through Democracy: The God That Failed, while another portion sees a member get lightly scolded for calling a woman “cute,” with another replying, “Please stay issue-focused.”
Even longtime critics of the movement were unprepared for the sheer dweeb energy.
“This is less ‘incel death cult’ and more ‘Model UN for goldbugs,’” said D’Angelo. “I honestly feel kind of bad for them. One guy tried to initiate a flame war by calling the Constitution ‘mid.’ Everyone just agreed.”
At press time, the chat was still active, with an insider source saying the last message was: “Anyway, back to my point about fractional reserve banking and the inherent tragedy of monetary abstraction…”
