MAPLE RIDGE, WA — In what club officials are calling “a necessary act of moral clarity,” the Northwest Maple County Knitting Society voted unanimously Thursday to adopt a sweeping resolution condemning bad things and supporting good ones — an action members say will surely send ripples through the broader community, or at the very least the community center hallway bulletin board.
“This is who we are,” said Club Chair Linda Beasley, adjusting her enamel ‘Chairwoman’ pin. “We’re not just here to cast on and bind off. We’re leaders. We’re stewards of decency. And when injustice is afoot, the knitting club will not remain silent.”
The resolution, titled “A Declaration of Principles and Affirmations of Goodness,” includes passionate statements against war, cruelty, division, bad feelings, and “whatever it is that’s been happening lately on the news,” while firmly supporting kindness, unity, courage, and the concept of dessert.
The document was drafted in accordance with Robert’s Rules of Order, reviewed by the club’s secretary, and ratified by a 5-0 vote. One member, Cheryl M., was not present, as she remains on disciplinary leave following allegations of crocheting.
“We take governance seriously,” said Club Treasurer Janet Hall, who keeps minutes in a three-ring binder with color-coded tabs. “When we speak, we speak with the full authority of our charter, our subcommittees, and our bylaws.”
Chair Beasley, Secretary Dotty Klein, and Treasurer Janet Hall were all elected last February in a tightly contested vote in which they each ran unopposed and cast ballots for one another, in strict accordance with the bylaws they wrote.
When asked if they anticipated any real-world impact from the resolution, Vice Chair Eleanor Davis replied, “Absolutely. These are powerful words. We’re faxing a copy to the mayor.”
At press time, the club was preparing to issue a follow-up resolution condemning online rudeness and affirming their support for warm beverages, equitable scarf distribution, and the continued rejection of acrylic blends “on moral grounds.”
