World Leaders Revealed to Be Ageless Demonic Entities Sustained by Human Suffering; Your Neoliberal Friend Says “That’s a Good Thing, Actually”
GENEVA — In a joint press conference that tore open the veil…
Knitting Club Passes Bold Resolution Condemning Bad Things, Supporting Good Things; Leadership Says It’s a Turning Point
MAPLE RIDGE, WA — In what club officials are calling “a necessary…
Calvinist Takes Credit for Choosing to Attend Church, Briefly Forgets Everything He Believes
GREENVILLE, SC — Local Calvinist Zackery McClintock, 32, experienced a brief but…
Mega Church Unveils Drive-Thru Baptism for Busy Believers on the Go
In an exciting leap forward for convenience Christianity, New Light Harvest Elevation…
Man Who Hates Church Totally Fine with Witch Stuff for Some Reason
AUSTIN, TX — Self-described “logic enjoyer” and militant atheist Brian Wexler, 34,…
“Religion Is Cringe,” Says Man With Rick and Morty Tattoo
BOISE, ID — Local man Kyle Denton, 29, declared religion “cringe” Wednesday…
Anarcho-Libertarian Has Every Answer for Society’s Problems, Still Can’t Get Anyone to Swipe Right
WEST, TX — Local anarcho-capitalist Brandon Kessler, 24, has spent the better…
College Student Takes Someone’s Seat, Performs Land Acknowledgment to Justify It
PORTLAND, OR — Chaos quietly unfolded Tuesday morning in a packed lecture…
Man Derives Meaning from Life by Explaining That Life Has No Meaning
PORTLAND, OR — Local software engineer and self-described “rational humanist” Derek H.…
International Affairs Grad Student Takes on Six-Figure Debt to Learn to Hate Russia
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Local graduate student Marissa Lane, 26, has racked up…