PHILADELPHIA, PA — Local Marxist-Leninist activist Cass Freeman, 26, has filed a defamation lawsuit this week — despite spending the past several years loudly declaring the U.S. legal system a corrupt, carceral instrument of capitalist repression.
“The courts are an arm of the ruling class, designed to protect private property and silence dissent,” said Freeman in their latest substack essay, titled Abolish the Judiciary. “Also, I’m suing that barista who called me a tankie on Twitter.”
According to court documents, Freeman is demanding $5,000 in damages, citing reputational harm, emotional distress, and “reactionary slander” after a former friend posted a now-deleted tweet suggesting that Freeman “lowkey supports gulags.”
“Which is ridiculous,” Freeman clarified. “I have nuance about gulags.”
Friends say the irony has not gone unnoticed. “This is the same person who called jury duty ‘collaboration with the state apparatus’ and tried to unionize their group chat,” said roommate Maya. “Now they’re quoting case law like it’s Das Kapital.”
Despite previously stating that “law is violence dressed in robes”, Freeman appeared in court wearing a button-up shirt and respectfully addressed the judge as “Your Honor” — but later clarified this was “a tactical compromise made in dialectical awareness of material conditions.”
At press time, Freeman was seen furiously typing a follow-up post titled “Why Suing My Political Enemies Is Actually Revolutionary Praxis.”
