Pragmatic Libertarian Shocked to Learn He’s Just as Annoying in Government as Out of It
WESTWOOD HILLS, MO — Newly elected libertarian Councilman Derek Mallon, 38, was stunned this week to discover that he is just as insufferable in public office as he was out…
Woman Threatens to Ruin Her Own Life Until Living Wage Guaranteed to All Workers
PORTLAND, OR — Local activist and TikTok crash out Eliza Jean, 23, has taken a bold stand for economic justice by announcing that she will intentionally destroy her credit and…
Couple Who Take Edibles and Order Uber Eats Every Night Say They Don’t Want Kids Because Their Life Is “Already Full”
SEATTLE, WA — Local couple Devon and Marissa Feldman, both 34, have once again confirmed that they do not want children, explaining to friends that their lives are already “so…
Broke Marxist Threatens to Stop Paying Rent “Until Palestine Is Free”
MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Local grad student and part-time zine distributor Talia Redfern, 27, has informed her landlord that she will no longer be paying rent “as an act of solidarity…
Longtime Libertarian Committee Member Launches Into Tirade Over 25-Year Ballot Access Failure, Blames New Guy for “Bad Optics”
SPRINGFIELD, MO — Libertarian Party committee veteran Carl Denman, 63, launched into an unprompted, impassioned tirade during Tuesday’s affiliate meeting about the party’s decades-long failure to achieve statewide ballot access…
